5 Things Your Depressed Friend Wants You To Know
Depression affects millions of women every year and women are twice as likely as men to get depressed. If you know someone who you think might be depressed or is going through a rough season of life, encourage them. You never know how your simple act of kindness will impact them. Women who are depressed often feel lonely and isolated like they are the only one dealing with depression. According to statistics, depressed women are all around us. They sit at the park, go to the grocery store, fill our church pews, serve in leadership, and teach our children. I’ve personally walked through the valley of depression and know what it feels like to think I am the only Christian on planet earth who is struggling in this way. I hope you will find help and encouragement here to help if you or someone you love is walking this difficult journey.
1. She wants to feel normal, and would snap out of it if she could.
If your depressed friend could feel better, she would!
2. She needs a friend to say, “You’re going to be okay.”
Sometimes saying nothing at all is interpreted as, “I don’t care enough to really talk about your problems.” Let your friend know you are interested in her and her life.
3. She doesn’t want you to fix it. She just wants someone to listen and be her friend.
Don’t try to make her explain what she is going through. Just be there and offer a listening ear. Love her.
4. Just because she smiles, laughs, and has a good day doesn’t necessarily mean everything is better.
So you finally work out a time for a girls night out and you have a fabulous time. Your friend, who you know is going through a rough patch, laughs, joins in the conversation, and acts like her old self again. You assume she’s overcome depression and go on with life as usual. The problem is that many times depression ebbs and flows. She can have a good day sandwiched between really difficult days. Be sensitive.
5. She doesn’t want you to feel sorry for her. She wants someone to genuinely care about her.
Your friend needs to know you love her just the way she is and that you care. She wants you to pray for her, listen to her, tell her the truth, and encourage her. Simple ways to encourage her:
Write a note
Send a “thinking of you” text
Invite her out and help arrange the details (where to go, childcare, transportation…)
Drop off fresh flowers
Make her dinner
Give her a gift
Simple acts of love show her that she is important when the enemy is telling her that no one cares about her. Your kind deed might be the one thing that helps her through the day.
Who in your life can you encourage today? Even if none of your friends are depressed, all of these things will work in any friendship.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:35(ESV)
Share this with someone you love!
Love & Blessings,
Micah
What would you add to the list? I would love to hear your thoughts!
Page with Comments
Comments are closed.
I’ve been stuck in a depression cycle for over 4 years. I totally agree with your post.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
You are so welcome. I pray you find deliverance. Seek help from a trusted friend or Doctor. Hope is available.
so great (and simple!) – thanks, micah – i’ll write a note now. xx
You go girl! Way to put good intentions to action! Thanks for stopping by, Sue!
I think #5 is especially insightful. No one wants to become someone’s “caseload.” Friendship is so much more helpful and more healing.
Yes, Michele! Don’t we all just need true friends who will love us through the ups and downs.
I was just talking about this with my mother, as my father and brother seem to deal with some levels of depression. Thanks for sharing.
I hope this was helpful, Lydia! I know there’s no fast, easy answer. But there is hope!
Simple and practical. I love #3…she just wants someone to listen. Sometimes listening requires the greatest from us, to both listen and not feel pressured to fix it.
Oh how difficult it can be to be a good listener. Truly some people have that as a gift! I’m learning!
There are women in my life who may be going through depression, and I don’t even know it. I can be encouraging them anyway. Thanks so much!
Yes! Let’s keep our eyes open to the hidden needs around us!
I think not trying to fix it is huge, but just being there to listen. I had a dear friend who went into PPD after her 2nd child and I should have recognized the clear signs but I had *no* experience with it. NONE. Her husband and mom knew, and she was able to get help quickly but it’s been a long, maybe lifetime fight for her. Saying a prayer now as your post reminds me. Thank you, Micah!
It’s so hard to know about when you haven’t walked through it. Keep praying for your friend. She needs you!
This is fantastic. Many of the women I meet struggle with depression, very good post for their loved ones! Coming to you from the Kelly Balarie link up :)
So many I meet do too. So happy to have you visit from Kelly’s #raralinkup
My sister has struggled with depression off and on her whole life, and I know she would agree with your list of 5 things here, Micah! Insightful advice too. My daughter has also struggled with depression, and even though I thought I knew everything about it, I missed it with her. She’s now much better, thank God, but I want to always be learning about depression and never assume I’ll automatically know it when I see it.
I’m sorry to hear about those near abs dear to you! So thankful your daughter is better! It’s a constant learning curve and can be disguised in so many ways.
As someone who has not struggled with depression myself, this was helpful to read. Thank you for sharing!
We’re so prone as women to want to help and especially fix things! Thanks for the reminder that people need us more often than not to just be present- listening and caring in practical ways. I know I will be a little more sensitive to those I know who struggle on and off. Thanks Micah ♥
Oh how we need each other! That’s the beauty in relationships. When you have a friend who will be there no matter if you’re up or down, that’s a real treasure!
Amen to that!
I love this, and also your tips for doing small nice things. Those small things do make such an impact!
Thank you for these helpful hints. I know it will help me help others.
You are so welcome! Learning to love better one day at a time!
Such wise words here, Micah! Thank you for sharing! I pray I will be a friend who can live this. Blessings!
Me too, girl! Me too. Thanks for joining me today!