Dealing With Past Pain
When tragedy, trial, or trauma invades a child’s life at the most tender of ages, it is destined to leave a mark. Some people hope that their loved ones will never have to experience the same things they have. For others, the only life they know is warped, complicated, and abusive. Unfortunately, in many cases, generational sin continues with more abuse, anger, and outrageous behavior. But thankfully, there are some who have escaped the cycle of sin in spite of the life they coped with as a little one.
My childhood did include wonderful memories, but it also included rejection and abandonment. As an adult I have seasons when I fight with feelings tucked deep within my being. The baggage seems to sneak up on me in the most inopportune moments. For many years the baggage was dormant, seemed silent, and did not interrupt my seemingly normal life. I didn’t even realize I was continuing to carry the weight of rejection.
I know it might sound trite or too simple, but Jesus is the only way I have made it. Yes, I could have blamed God, or sought a method of escape, but I found a love in Jesus that I haven’t found anywhere else. So I clung to it. I still cling to it.
I don’t know what you carry. For some of you, the story is tragic, unbelievable, and emotionally unbearable. No one should have to go through what you have experienced.
My simple encouragement today is to allow Jesus to meet you in the mess of everything you’ve been through. No matter what it is, what it’s been, or where you are now, He is able to deliver you. I know it’s not always simple. Many times there are layers as thick as steel filled with heartache that isn’t easily blotted out, but there is no other healing apart from Jesus. There is no other mending except for in His grace and mercy. Jesus is the only way.
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6
He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
He counts the number of the stars;
He calls them all by name. Psalm 147:3-4
It has always been amazing to me that God knows every star, even the ones we cannot see. When we feel like God is far away or that our struggle is too deep to verbalize, God knows. He knows what we want to say even though we cannot express the words within our wounded hearts. I hope you will find healing and comfort in the fact that God knows where you’ve been, what you’ve been through, and how it affects you to this day.
If you have found His unfailing love along your path of life, share it with us in the comments to encourage someone else who is struggling with baggage of the past.
If you are searching for God’s peace, share that here too.
It’s time to let go of the baggage, live beyond the abuse, and move past the pain. It won’t be easy, but there is freedom in the precious love of Jesus.
I wrote a song a few years ago that goes something like this:
When your heart hurts
I mean the tough times
It keeps you up at night
And it’s been a long, long time
And you still cry
Over something years ago
The pain you feel
Nobody knows
You don’t know how to say it
Sometimes it seems you’ll never make it
It’s time to let go
It’s time to move on
Just when I thought that I was oh so weak
God gave me the strength
And I’m telling you…
There is freedom,
There is freedom,
Freedom in forgiving someone who has hurt you deep,
And I’m learning, it’s not my pain to keep.
Love & Blessings,
Micah
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Hello Micah,
Your post speaks to my own experience. Sometimes the only comfort I have is knowing that Jesus saw it all and He knows my pain. It was years for me, also after I was wounded when I began having difficulty. My healing has taken years as well, but at the worst of the trauma, the Lord spoke to my heart and said that I would heal, but that it would take a long time. I’ve continued to hold on to that promise. Recently I have begun to be able to let go of some of what happened, and now find I am wanting to move forward. But this period of transition has it’s own challenges, as I “test the waters”, learning to trust that Jesus is with me and will help me.
Thank you for sharing. It helps knowing that others have traveled this path and found freedom at last.
God bless..
Christine
Yes, Christine. He knows it all. I will pray as you navigate this season of letting go.
Micah, I love how you share the impact of childhood hurts here, and have found myself that when I over-react to something, if I can stay present to the feeling rather than getting overwhelmed by it, I realize that what I’m reacting to is not the present-day “thing” but to the feelings that it “pokes” from past hurts.
Thanks for your impactful and very vulnerable posts here in your space. I always enjoy reading.
Michele, I love how you bring in the idea of focusing on the present day! How relevant to healing!
Thank you for your words, Micah. I had a basically happy childhood with parents who tried the best they could and were good parents, but sometimes I did feel rejection and abandonment, like you did. It’s taken a lifetime (51 years?) to realize the after effects and walk in freedom, but Hallelujah! I’m (mostly) free! :-)
Keep walking in freedom sister! Keep walking with God! So good to hear from you today!
Yes, Micah! Jesus is the only one who can meet our needs and comfort us no matter how deep the pain. He is always there. Whenever I’ve had to deal with hard things, he gives me a peace that I know is from Him alone. I couldn’t manufacture it on my on. Your post reminds me of a poem I wrote about God always being with us! I’m visiting from Literacy Musing Mondays.
Gayl, I would love to hear your poem! Feel free to share it here in the comments!
God Is With Me Always
When I am lost and all alone
And cannot see the way
You are there to guide me
To help me through the day.
When I find it hard to trust
And doubt your loving care
You are always with me
Though I am unaware.
When I am all upset inside
And feel my anger rise
You bring peace to calm me
To still my anxious cries.
When I come to you in sorrow
With a heart full of pain
You are there to comfort
And lift me up again.
No matter what I say or do
I do not have to hide
You are full of mercy
In you I will abide.
So BEAUTIFUL! Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you, Micah, and you’re welcome! :)
Not forgiving those who’ve hurt us only makes us suffer. Thanks for sharing your heart so freely today and encouraging us to let go of what has already done its damage. Blessings, liz
So true, Liz. Love & Blessings!
Micah,
Yes, childhood rejection and abandonment runs deeper than we know and God does heal…for me it has been layer by painful layer but oh, what freedom…growing in freedom and joy…blessings to you :-)
Thank you for sharing with all of us, Micah. It’s brave, kind, generous, and compassionate of you.
Doesn’t it seem so backwards that we want to keep our pain? But no, it’s not ours to keep. Micah, thank you so much for sharing your pain, exemplifying surrender, and encouraging me today. So grateful I was your neighbor at #Thought-ProvokingThursday
Yes. It does seem backwards. But so often cling to it. Oh the freedom in finally letting go!
He does heal the brokenhearted. I’m the fruit of that love! So are the generations after me. Love this, Micah!
Amen! So thankful for His healing! Love you, Suzie.
Sweet Micah!
Another compassionate and encouraging post you have blessed us with. Thank you for your words!
Rejection is a painful road with real and raw effects. When I let my mind wander in the recesses of past rejection I find myself at a loss for words. Those times leave me wanting to express the cry inside my heart, but it’s difficult. You have stated it beautifully here and reminded us Jesus knows and He cares.
Thank you for your love and for the reminder that Jesus heals the brokenhearted and binds up all their wounds. There is no other healing, except through Him!
Blessings to You!
I know that feeling of being at a loss for words, Leigh Ellen. So good to hear from you today! I hope you have a happy Thursday!
Ah, I’ve met Jesus in my pain many times. He’s always there. Sometimes the devil taunts me with thoughts of unworthiness, but I’ve learned to compare those lies to Jesus’ truths–truth always wins.
I love that verse from Psalms 147, Micah. It helped “carry me” through a very painful season. I am so thankful that He is the mender of our brokenness.
Great to hear from you, Lyli. And so thankful for God’s powerful Word and the way He carries us through difficult times.
“Many times there are layers as thick as steel filled with heartache that isn’t easily blotted out, but there is no other healing apart from Jesus.” So much truth! So thankful for His healing!
Me too, Michelle.
Micah- good words! Thank your for the reminder!
Thanks, Shannon!
Beautiful lyrics. I wish I could hear you sing your song. Since my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes last fall, I have felt God’s presence so comforting as we’ve established our new normal. I don’t know how I could have made it without the strength of the Lord carrying me through (and him, of course). Thanks for joining us at the #LMMLinkup.
Maybe I’ll put the song out there some day. It’s so good to hear about you experiencing God’s presence during your difficult time. His strength is the only way. Thank you for sharing with me!
this was a beautiful offering! your words, the scripture, your song lyrics particularly this powerful ending “Freedom in forgiving someone who has hurt you deep,
And I’m learning, it’s not my pain to keep” thanks for linking up at #GiveMeGrace!
Thanks, Lisha!