Ever Feel Inadequate?
Living With Purpose in Every Season: Week 6
Do ever feel like everyone else is doing life better than you?
I get it. I see what everyone else is doing and how awesome they are doing it and wonder what I am missing.
As a homeschool mom for the past three years, the trap of comparison is so evident all around me.
It only takes one glance around me to get me all choked up about how inadequate my homeschooling skills are.
As a blogger, it only takes one click to realize how much I don’t know about the huge land of the blogosphere.
As a writer, it only takes the introduction of one book for me to think things like my writing isn’t that unique or special.
As a pastor’s wife, there are a thousand churches out there with more innovative methods, more beautiful buildings, larger congregations…
As a wife, my body has changed dramatically through the years and I don’t always feel as romantic as I did when we first chose to live this life together. And working out? Well, I do go up and down the stairs several times a day and sometimes that includes lugging a load of laundry or pumping my arms like I just finished a marathon. Does that count?
As a mom, I don’t always feed my children the healthiest options or give them the best example to follow. Thank the Lord for frozen pizza and Taco Bell. (Forgive me health food friends.)
Have you ever looked so intently at everyone else around you that you quickly see yourself as a big fat failure?
We don’t like to admit it, but sometimes we see ourselves as never good enough, never strong enough, never healthy enough, never smart enough, never, never, never enough.
I don’t know how you cope when you feel less than, but sometimes I eat a pan of brownies, drink cold Dr. Pepper, and think somehow that will make me feel better. And then I take a nap. Perfect.
What about you? How do you cope?
Do you work harder to do better? Do you focus on one thing and try your best to improve? Do you find a 5-step process to being a better mom, wife, blogger…?
You can find a quick fix for just about anything on the internet these days. As soon as we feel like we aren’t cutting it, google is sure to give us the answer to all of our problems.
As I wrestled with my own failures and feelings of inadequacy, God impressed my heart with a few words and I want to share them with you. I hope you will find freedom and realize no matter what you do, who you are, or how short you feel like you are falling, God doesn’t hold the measuring stick like we do.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (ESV)
Here we go! The words God gave me:
“Stop trying so hard.”
“Follow Me.”
When I began comparing my homeschool skills with others, I quickly found other ways to do everything I was already doing. We had a system that worked well for us, but when I looked around and was challenged with other ideas, I began to feel like our way wasn’t good enough.
While there is definitely value in learning new ways, it wasn’t time for us to “improve”. We needed to maintain a routine, and finish strong. Looking around for new ways only complicated things and made me feel less than enough.
When I began comparing my writing and ministry with others out there, it didn’t take long for me to see my need to be more visible, more effective, more innovative. But as I heard God speak to me, He didn’t say words like innovative, or visible. He said words like:
“Trust Me.”
“Follow Me.”
“My way, not your innovation or creativity.”
When I realized all my striving for more was actually producing less, I stopped. I took a fresh look at myself and realized where I went wrong. I compared. I compared myself and my life to everyone else instead of living with a single-hearted focus on God.
I thought that I was doing everything for God. Or was I?
I loved my children and wanted them to know God and have a good education, but when I measured my teaching up against how everyone else was doing it, I missed the mark. I wasn’t supposed to do it their way.
God had a way for me. His way.
Writing and ministry always starts out as a good thing for me, but then it’s so easy to get wrapped up in numbers, and platforms, and social media. There’s too many articles out there on how to make it big and how to make big even bigger. Is that what God calls us to? Big?
God is calling me to surrender. It means no matter what the world says, I have to choose God’s way.
It might mean I don’t do school the way others do.
Or it might mean I need to make changes in the way I reach people.
It might mean I don’t follow the blogging rules or read the latest news on how to grow a platform even though everyone in the world is saying I should.
It might mean I sit down and read a book with my kids instead.
Or take out my Bible when it’s not “quiet time” and see what God has for me outside of my normal devotional time.
It might mean I don’t post 3.5 times on Facebook a day or blog twice a week like all the other successful bloggers out there.
It’s not because I don’t want to be successful or think my way is better, it’s because God is calling me to Follow Him.
I can’t follow God and follow the world too.
I just can’t, and I’m pretty sure that’s true for all of us.
For you, God might have you follow the latest and greatest tips and tricks of the trade for your calling, but for me I sense God calling me to a simpler way – His.
If you are tired of trying so hard and comparing notes with others, here’s a little encouragement for you:
1. You don’t have to measure up to the world’s standards of anything.
2. God’s way is always the best way.
3. God’s times is always right.
4. God’s power is always present.
5. God’s presence is always better than the Pinterest perfect plans and procedures.
What will you do this week to embrace God’s way?
How have you been chasing the ways of the world?
How often do you fall into the trap of comparison?
Let’s rise up and be who God wants us to be.
I’m just a wife and mom who happens to write when God says so, and that is enough. God is enough in me. God is enough in you too.
Let’s live with purpose – His purpose.
Love & Blessings,
Micah
Are you following this series? If you missed any of the other weeks you can find them here:
Week 1 – Silent Seasons
Week 2 – Season of Blessings
Week 3 – Seasons to Stop
Week 4 – Seasons of Uncertainty
Week 5 – Seasons When You Feel Shattered
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Sweet friend –
Yes. Yes. Yes. To every word of this!
Recently, I’ve felt like God is calling me to lay down my dreams and “come away with Him.” It’s been hard. Really hard. And most days it feels a little like quitting and a whole lot like missing out. But I’m tiptoeing into His invitation with shaky trust and hope that I’m hearing Him correctly.
I’m so thankful you shared your heart and how God’s leading you – somehow it felt a bit confirming for me.
Love you big!!
Have a blessed week!
I love how God knits our hearts. Your words resonate with me so much! Love you too, girl! Follow wherever He leads, God will not lead you astray. Hugs!!!
Micah- nodding my head in agreement! This is the second post about surrender. Maybe God is hinting to me too:)
Great post!
#InspireMeMondays
I love when God speaks through several different avenues to get His message to us. Great to see you here today! I hope you have a great week, Julie!
I love this, Micah, and it fits perfectly with what God’s been telling me. He’s given us all the tools, gifts, talents we need to pursue His purpose. We don’t need to research more, listen to another webinar, etc. We just need to move forward in obedience & He will bless our efforts & make our paths straight! We hear so often “you are enough”, and that is true, thanks to the immeasurable, unfathomable love of God. But, I am so glad that you brought it back to the truth that God is enough. The only reason we are enough is because He is enough! Joining you in keeping my focus on Him, and the knowledge that He is all I need! :-)
Hope, thanks for dropping in! Yes! We are nothing without Him! So thankful that He is with us, and in us, and works through us!
Beautifully written. Thank you for the boost of confidence!
Have a blessed week!
Thank you, Johanna. I hope you have a fabulous week!
I am a grandma who feels less than the other grandma to our grandchildren. She sees them every week. I see them four times a year. I try to face time but we never connect. I love our far away family, and they know that. but I am not enough for them.
Sweet Mary, I can’t imagine how difficult that must be to be far away and not feel like you are enough. I know something you can do and probably already do that will mean more than anything to your sweet family. Pray. When you pray for them, that is more than anything else you could ever do for them. I know it doesn’t heal the need to be with them, but God’s power is greater than anything we can ever do physically. Sending you a hug today.
We know this truth, to not compare ourselves, but we need to hear it again and again, because we forget too often. Thank you for this today!
Don’t we? It’s just so crazy how quickly we forget. One day – enough. Next day – not enough. SO thankful that God loves me, aren’t you?
So so important! I love this reminder and I’m definitely sharing it! We need to hear this, especially as women, comparison slips in so easily! I’m so glad I stopped by :)
Thank you so much for sharing, Nicole! I hope your week is filled with blessings and no comparisons ;)
So glad I read your post today! I’m definitely having one of those days where I feel everyone is doing everything better than I am, but as you say, comparison really doesn’t help. I love the verse from Philippians and the reminder that it is God who completes his good work in us, not something we have to strive for by ourselves.
I think I need the Philippians verse every single day. I hope your day is better and filled with the truth that God is enough in us.
This is beautiful Micah! Comparison is a tough road to walk. Praying we can all move beyond it and accept God’s plans and timing for each of us.
I think it is something we will always be tempted with. We may experience victory for seasons, but then the enemy will try again just like he does with anything else. This one is so tricky because in our pride we don’t like to admit that we struggle in this area, or that’s how it is for me. Praying with you that we can keep our eyes on God, the Holy One, who is worthy of our complete attention and praise.
So good, Micah! Honest and vulnerable…I can relate. Sharing this on my Facebook page!
Thanks so much for passing this along, Sarah!
A ploy of the enemy! Your neighbor at Holley’s today.
Isn’t it though?! Being aware of it is the first step toward freedom.
Ohhhh…. so, SO very good! Girl! I can’t even tell you how deeply this speaks to me! And I caught myself doing it already this morning! I’ve gotta stay in the lane God gives me and do what He calls me to do with the tools He has given me. Thanks for this encouraging read this morning! Blessings!
Liz, I love how you put that: “I’ve gotta stay in the lane God gives me!” My lane. We each have one, but too often we keep looking into everyone else’s. Keeping the focus and praying you will do the same today. Thanks for your insight and I’m thankful this resonated with you!
Very well written. This is my first time here, but as a blogger I struggle with all these things. Truth be told, my readership is very small and it’s hard not to give up. Except that I believe God told me to write the words that I write. Yet, I know he wants me close to him too. It’s hard not to compare in every single area.
Welcome Rosanna! I’m so glad you are here! My husband always reminds me that sometimes my writing is just for me and sometimes it’s just for one other person, and if that is all it’s for, that is enough. God is in control of it all and He has purposes and plans we cannot imagine. Kudos to you for obeying God’s call to write. Keep it up, girl! You may never know how God uses the words He gives you. Keep staying close to Him and He will guide you with each word.
Wow, we have more in common than just our initials. I actually had to stop going to homeschool meetings at one point in my life because I was just too overwhelmed by everyone else’s amazing-ness. And yet, I hear the voice of God saying that I don’t have to measure up with anyone but Him. And I know that you hear it too — we just have to stay close to Truth!
Isn’t it fun being an MM? :) I completely get it. We are actually making a major change with school for next year and I’ve been praying and hashing it out for a while now, yet I know it’s what God is calling us to do. It’s so hard when I begin to look around. God is continually saying, “Look to Me.” Maybe one of these days I’ll keep my gaze fixed without my continual sideways glance at the people next to me in this life.
This post is so meaningful, Micah! There’s so many times I feel like I’m not doing things right or enough, but your words are so powerful. Thanks for this beautiful post!
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
#womenwithintention
Yes! Such a good reminder.
:)
Love your thoughts! I can totally relate as a homeschool mom, business owner and writer I find that if I look around everyone is doing better than me and God just calls me to follow and be faithful with what I have been given. Thanks for your words of wisdom!
Thanks, Naomi! We aren’t alone girl! So many of us get our eyes looking all around us and get distracted. It’s such an easy trap to slip into. Doing my best to be faithful and focus on God’s specific plan for me. I hope your week is blessed! Stay in the lane.
Micah, I really love this post and so needed to hear this today. Thank you for your faithfulness to write. “God doesn’t hold the measuring stick like we do.” LOVE THIS. #wisdom
Happy Wednesday!
Megs
Aren’t you thankful God doesn’t hold that measuring stick up against our backs? Shame on us for placing such unrealistic pressure on ourselves. So thankful for God’s mercy and strength when I get it all messed up. Happy Wednesday girl! Hugs!
Yes! Oh, so grateful! We are so hard on ourselves sometimes! Amen. Hugs right back, friend ?
God has a way for me. I may get tripped up on that, but deep in my heart I know it. When I give myself a chance to think and be, I feel it.
Me too. I love that God makes Himself real to us!
I can completely relate. Thank you for the encouraging words.
Thank you for linking up with Woman to Woman Ministries! <3
Thanks for having me, Jenifer! Always love what you share!
What a great post, Micah! I’m most tempted to compare myself to other writers and bloggers :/. I’m learning to just keep doing what God asks and not stress about the rest. He’ll need to be my agent-finding agent ;). (By the way, your tweets don’t contain anything other than the words–no link or via @ tags :/ ).
Hey Anita! Yes, God will do what we can’t. He will bring the right agent at the right time. He’s so faithful. Thanks for letting me know about the tweets~ I’ve always got some tech issue haha! Not my strength. Hopefully I can get it fixed this weekend.
This is so refreshing Micah. And so freeing too. Running our own race and not allowing the comparisons to hinder what it is that God has laid out for us individually. Thank you for your obedience in speaking truth to this matter that we all struggle with. Very timely!
Towera, my heart leaped when I saw you over here visiting me! Thank you for your kind words! Love you girl!
Dear Micah, just look at the women’s hearts, like mine, that your words have touched! The good news for me is that inadequacy tends to lead to humility, and more importantly, a greater dependency and surrender to our loving Heavenly Father. Thank you for your candor and encouragement!
Alice, me too. Isn’t that interesting? The one thing we tend to think of as one of our biggest weaknesses, is actually the thing that brings us closer to God. I love your thoughts on this topic! Great insight!