All relationships come with some sort of expectations. When those expectations are not fulfilled the results can be traumatic. We have all experienced being hurt by someone we love. I lived unaccepted by my birth father for years. I was bitter, felt unloved, betrayed, and abandoned. I still cry over it sometimes. It hurts. While my situation may not be the same as yours, the healing process might compare. If you are hurting by skeletons of your past or a relationship that did not meet your expectations, keep reading.

Baby steps toward healing your broken, hurting heart:

1. Realize your offender is human. All humans make mistakes. This is the first step toward moving beyond your pain. Some sins cause big heartaches. You may have experienced this in your own life. You cannot fathom hurting someone the way you have been hurt.

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

2. Resist the trap of un-forgiveness. Forgiveness sometimes takes time. Forgive everyday that anger or hurt comes to mind. Scars and pain can be revisited and relived over and over and over. When the emotions overwhelm you, forgive again. When it hurts the worst, remember the things that God has forgiven you for. This will not dismiss or take away what happened, but it is another step toward healing. Forgiveness is essential to your complete healing.

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. Luke 6:36-37

3. Relinquish the control that the offender has over your feelings. Realize that your hurt and pain is not equal to their hurt and pain. They have their own set of issues to deal with. You do not have to continue to allow your offender to hurt you. Ask God to guard your heart from continual harm.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

4. Rather than being a victim, be victorious. Victory over your pain may seem impossible. Allow God to change your thoughts from surviving unfortunate circumstances to thriving in spite of your circumstances. The easiest way to get victory is through the word of God every day.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

5. Rejoice in the faithfulness of God. The reality that God never changes makes me understand the amazingness of who God is. If it weren’t for God, I would have no purpose in life. God has given me a reason to live and move forward. Life can be difficult especially when someone you trust brings harm and hurt into your life. Although bad things may happen, God loves you and has a purpose for your life. Sometimes people will ask why God would allow such terrible things to happen in their lives. I don’t know the right answer, but I do know from experience that some of the most heart breaking things in my life have helped me understand and see God more clearly than ever.

But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil. II Thessalonians 3:3

We have an amazing God who has some big things for us to accomplish. Do not allow your past hurts to jeopardize your future work. God has something amazing for you to accomplish with his help and healing. Let him heal you of your deepest wounds and watch him work miracles in your life.

Our God is amazing, steady and unchanging….

Sometimes scars of the past are broken open and the pain of the initial wound is felt time and time again. If your heart continually hurts by the wounds that you have received or are receiving, ask God to help you to forgive. Forgiveness brings freedom. I am looking forward to the day when there will be no more pain, no more tears, and no more open wounds that need to be healed. Healing and freedom are waiting for you at the precious feet of Jesus. It will not change the past, but it will change you. Take the first step…

Love & Blessings,
Micah