When God Feels Far Away
I knelt in my living room in frustration thinking that maybe my physical posture would prove to God that I was serious. I knew He answered prayer, so I prayed. But this time, He didn’t seem to answer my request. Over and over I begged Him; over and over I got the same response – silence.
God began to feel distant and unreachable.
Have you ever been there? You know God is real. You’ve even sensed His presence and experienced His power through answered prayer and life change, but in this moment He feels like a long-distance friend who won’t answer your calls.
In these seasons of uncertainty, it’s easy to say the right thing. We know the Christian words and phrases, and we get good at telling people that we are just “waiting on God.”
But the truth is, waiting for an answer from Him is hard. Sometimes it hurts when our friends seem to have it easier than we do or when God appears to be pouring out blessings on everyone except us.
Life can be much harder than we like to admit.
Let’s face it.
We all see each other’s highlight moments on Facebook. These moments are edited, controlled, and filtered for the viewing audience.
None of us see all of us. We see what each of us is willing to share.
In my new book, Anchored In: Experience a Power-Full Life in a Problem-Filled World, I uncover a part of my life I would rather hide and pretend away. I reveal the hard truth about what real life can do, and how my problems have made me feel like God was beyond my grasp.
In sharing the hard parts of life, I hope you will know it’s okay to embrace those difficult moments of your own life. I hope in those moments and seasons when you feel like God is far away, you will know you aren’t the only one who has ever had those feelings or those thoughts. But more than that, I hope you will discover a new depth to the power of God.
My prayer is that through me sharing my journey to discover God’s power in the deepest problems of life, you will make your own discovery.
God’s power isn’t reserved for one or two, or a chosen few. It’s reserved for you!
If you’ve ever felt like God is far away, you will appreciate the authentic perspective of Anchored In.
Love & Blessings,
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Hi Micah,
I can relate about hard times. I am 7 months post divorce from a marriage I fought long and hard to keep. After separation, my son chose to live with his dad and limit all contact with me. I had our daughter who is special needs and she had a very administrative year as I transitioned her from child services to adult services alone.
Truly, I wanted a miracle. I wanted a miracle where my husband would recognize that his family loved him and that I needed him. I wanted a miracle where we could show God’s love and mercy through a redemptive marriage. I wanted the man I love to show up and show me his love. I was a good wife and know that God does know that.
However all my worst fears have come true, my husband left, my child has removed himself from my life. I loved being a mom. I loved walking beside him as he waded through his childhood and had desired strongly to be his mom and launch him as he walked through his teen years. He is 15 now. And now my husband in a very short period of time (weeks) has met another woman. Another fear that he’d find someone that would be better than me. I just lost my job. Oh and during this time he and I were still sleeping together from time to time. Allowing my hope that he would come around flourish. Then my step dad passed away and I was a support for my mother and helped her through the funeral.
The pain is truly unbearable. Times aren’t hard they are excrutiating. They have been extremely painful for the past 5 years as the marriage unwound and with it my self esteem, confidence, energy, love, compassion, joy and zest for life. They have continued to get worse and not better. I keep thinking something good has to come out of all this. However during this time, God stopped talking to me. Feeling further abandoned and neglected and rejected.
I did resent God for awhile. Not understanding why I am here after having a heart for God and bringing him into our marriage. My husband now feels he is a Christian.
I did realize that life was darker without God and I realized that I needed Him to be able to make the shift in my heart. So I have been praying and begging God to show me the path he wants me to be on. I have been begging for him to fill me with his peace and joy because I can’t do it on my own. A normally stable, strong, capable woman, I am now indecisive, tired and overwhelmed. I suffer from anxiety attacks. I wake up in the middle of the night with God’s name on my lips as I try to get my ex husband out of my mind. I pray, meditate and read on his word
God is all that I have left. He has taken everything else from me. I know that he is the great redeemer. So I pray and I’ve waited but things do not improve.
Unfortunately this is not where I have been but where I am at. Still in the thick of it and feeling more and more overwhelmed. Some days are better than others but I am hurting and am looking for God’s plan in all of this. I do know that I can’t get over this alone and I wait on God.
I look forward to reading your book
Grace
Hi Grace,
I just “happened” to notice your comments here on Micah’s blog post. I can see that this is not a coincidence, but our great God showing His mercy upon both you and I. I have been where you are. I have had my husband walk out of our lives without even a backwards glance. I have felt the anxiety and fear and desperation that you feel. I’m so sorry for your pain. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through this hurt that our loving God never intended. Unfortunately, we cannot control the choices that others make. We cannot make our husbands see what is right and what is meant to be in God’s plan for marriage. I will be praying for you and hoping that you know- you are NOT ALONE. Even when God feels absent, He is still there. Psalm 91 has always helped me in the darkest times. God never leaves. God always protects and loves. Trust in that even when you don’t feel it. Hugs to you Grace. Please feel free to contact me through my blog anytime. (www.revivemeagain.com)
Amy
Micah, this sounds like a book we all will need to read for those times we face God’s “silence”. During those times in my life, I have tried to remind myself that His silence is not the same the same His inactivity for our God is always at work. May He bless your words and use them to help many!
It’s so encouraging to know He is always working even when we can’t see or hear it. I love to look back and see the ways He has worked things together for good. Thank you for your encouraging words!
In what seemed like silence, God used the loss of a child and a stalled career to teach me that it’s about the journey and others, not about me. Of course, it’s so much easier to see on the other side. That’s where we can praise God that He’s willing to break us down to build us up. Thanks for being willing to share the hard stuff, Michah! Blessings from your neighbor at Anita’s.
It sounds like you know where I am coming from. Alice, I’m so sorry for what you have been through, but so thankful that you have found God in the midst of your unimaginable circumstance. Hugs!
Oh yes, I have been through those seasons before. There were times when I could manage to say was, “Help.” So thankful God hears those prayers. I’m so excited for your book, Micah! It is a message this world definitely needs.
Oh how I have been there, Abby! Thank you for sharing the excitement! Hugs!!!
Oh Micah, I loved this line:
“God’s power isn’t reserved for one or two, or a chosen few. It’s reserved for you!” it echoes what I’ve been hearing from the LORD myself. Hallelujah! Bless you!
I’m so glad this resonated with you!
Funny, God could care less about our posture in prayer except for a sincere and contrite spirit! BUT, there have been times He has clearly said to me, “On your knees this time. On your knees.” Yes, Lord.
I’ve heard those same words, “On your knees.” Complete surrender is a wonderful place to be.
I’m with Susan! There are times when sitting and writing in my prayer journal is fine, other times, on my knees is the only way to be in God’s presence.
Yes! I completely relate.
First of all, congrats on your book, Micah! And secondly, I heard that you were at the She Speaks conference but sadly, I didn’t get the chance to meet you in person. I hope your experience was as inspirational as mine was! I love the emphasis and direction of your book too. Sounds like it’s right down my alley. I hope your launch is all that you hope it will be, my friend!
Thank you so much! I didn’t know you were there! I would have loved to meet you! It was such a great time! I would love to hear your feedback on the book. If you want to review it, let me know.
Thank you for being brave enough to share your struggle, your humanity and the things you have learned. I appreciate it very much because it inspires me and lets me know I am not alone.
I grew up in an alcoholic, abusive, neglectful, mentally ill environment. I was wounded, full of shame, and felt rejected. My earthly father wanted nothing to do with me and my mother is mentally ill, which left little beneficial to grow up with unfortunately. She did take me to church which planted a seed and for that I am grateful. My Heavenly Father has been working with me on trust for many years now and he as healed me in many ways and I continue to grow with His help. I have a severe Anxiety and Panic Disorder as well as a Social Anxiety Disorder which makes my heart beat faster than it should. I take medication daily to slow it down and carry anxiety medication and fast acting heart medication everywhere I go.
Last year I developed Graves Disease which caused my anxiety to go through the roof and send me to the ER more times than I care to think about honestly. One panic attack was so severe I had to have my husband come and get me from voting and I do not remember 1/2 of the day. I am ok though because I know I am loved and cared for by the most important person, my Father in Heaven. He has blessed me with an amazing husband that loves and supports me and I him.
I have three wonderful children. They are not completely healthy but they know the Lord and I will continue to believe God can use them and heal them. My daughter has an Anxiety D/O and an Eating D/O, my son is a Disabled Veteran with PTSD, Anxiety D/O and alcohol issues, yet he is alive and for that I am eternally thankful, and my other son nearly died at 13 yo when he became a Type 1 Diabetic. God is using him in a mighty way. He is in his 2nd yr of residency as an ER and internal medicine doctor at MCV.
I will continue to focus on the positive and speak praise to and of my Heavenly Father. He loves me and heals me and my family. He’s never left me or forsaken us. I will continue to love and worship my Father, attend my church, read and grow and share His mercies.
I look forward to reading your book and wish and pray for you to have all of God’s very best.
Sincerely,
Michelle Z.
I’m so sorry for all you have been through and are going through. Life is so difficult sometimes. Somethings aren’t just healed overnight. But I’m so thankful for Jesus. Keep praising and calling on Him and you won’t go astray. Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with us. I know you aren’t the only. The answer we are all seeking is Jesus. I hope my book encourages you!