Today I’ve invited my friend, Ashley to share a bit of marriage advice. Her and her husband, Dave have held nothing back in their book that is sure to give you a renewed desire to make your marriage the best it can be! Here’s a word from Ashley! And no, we are not twins or sisters. But we do look quite a bit alike. The photo below is Ashley :)

By: Ashley Willis

Any kind of hardship can take a toll on our marriage.  Financial strain, stress at work, frequent travel with work, difficulty with kids, major illness, broken trust, moving, or problems with extended family are some common issues that cause a husband and wife to argue or pull away from one another.  However, the hard times are when we need each other the most.  Here’s how we can protect our marriage from the damage that hardship can bring.

There have been several times, in my fifteen years being marriedto Dave, that we’ve experienced various forms ofhardship.  In the grand scheme of things, ours weren’t “major,” but weboth felt the strain nonetheless.

One tough season that comes to mind happened about eight years agowhen we decided to move states.  We were willingly leaving a place that weloved but very excited about starting our new adventure in a new place.  Themoment we got there, I felt loneliness creeping in.  We were staying in atiny rental right beside some water, and that was especially hard since, atthat time, I had two extremely loud and active small boys who couldn’t swimyet.

Dave was busy at his new job, and I was trying to hold down thefort at home with two small children.  As the months slowly crept by, Daveand I bothfelt weary and uncomfortablewith our new city. It was a tough adjustment.  There were even times when I was a bitresentful towards Dave because it seemed like he was adjusting so much betterthan I was. Even still, I continued to trudge on through the long days at homewith my restless boys–feeling a bit lost and alone.

The tension between us began to rise, because wegradually stopped being intentional about telling each other our true feelings about the move.  I think both ofus were so exhausted at the end of the day that we just couldn’t even find thewords.  Eventually, thisbad habit caught up with us. We both became so edgy towards one another, and we weren’t prioritizing datenights or time together likewe once did.

The relational dynamicbetween us was becoming more sinister by the day.  I hatedit.  I wanted things to be better.  I wanted to love where we wereliving.  But, I was so homesick and frustrated with the state of things.

I remember Dave coming to me, with tired eyes, one day.  Hegrabbed my hands, and he said,

“Sweetie, this has been a really hard move for bothof us.  I don’t know why, but it just IS.  What do you think would makethings better for us?”  

I wasso relieved to hear him say those words.  I wasn’t alone in myfrustration.  Dave felt it too.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I poured out my heart to him. I told him how much I missed my friends and family.  I expressed myfrustration with the boys not listening. I asked Dave how things were going atwork, and he talked about some frustrations he was experiencing there.

Neither of us heldanything back.  It felt so good to just let it all out and to call thisseason what it really was–hard. It was good to know that we both hadeach other’s back.  

Friends, when we are going through a tough season–and we all willat some point in our lives, we must resist the urge to face it alone and allowresentment to take hold of our heart.  This will help you to endure thishard season and keep your marriage strong.

We need to go to our spouse and tell him/her what’s on our mindand heart.  Tell him/her everything–the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then ask your spouse to do the same.  When you both do this, youwill feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders.  The two of you areon the same team.  You wintogether or lose together.  You lean on one another through thick andthin.  That’s what our marriage commitment is all about.

Yourhard season may linger, but you can make it through anything when you face ittogether hand-in-hand, heart-to-heart, day-by-day, and step-by-step.

If you and your spouse are struggling right now in your marriage,we want to help you. My husband and I are so excited about our NEW book, The Naked Marriage, and we believe itis a powerful resource for married couples. We’d love to get it in your hands. Itis available on Amazon and where books aresold. We hope it is a great blessing to you and your spouse!

About theAuthor:

AshleyWillis is one of America’s most widely-read relationship bloggers. She writes primarily on issues related to faith, marriageand motherhood in her books and blogs. Ashley and her husband, Dave, havebeen doing marriage ministry together for the last 7 years, and they foundedthe Facebook Marriage Page. Dave and Ashley speaktogether at marriage conferences all over the U.S., and they recently joinedthe team at MarriageToday. They have four young sonsand live in Keller, TX. For additional resources, please visit DaveAndAshleyWillis.com and follow Ashley on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.