Silent Stealers of Joy: Good Intentions & Guilt

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After a long day of mothering, wife-ing, friending, loving, helping, caring, cooking, cleaning, shopping and everything else-ing, I snuggle into my bed and the thoughts of what I should have done differently begin. My thoughts parade through my mind like a slide show highlighting the little things I forgot to do or say.

I think of how I should have answered my friend differently or stopped what I was doing to make that needed phone call. I remember the way I rushed my husband out the door so that I would have more time, only to kick myself when I could not remember if I kissed him goodbye. There are a lot of choices I make each day. Some choices are big and some are small, but somehow they all tend to make me trudge through the feelings of what I should have or could have done differently.

I want to be the best wife, mom and friend ever, but I often fall short of my own expectations. I have good intentions to be gentle with my children, adore my husband and encourage my friends, but there are days that all I feel like doing is eating brownies and drinking Dr. Pepper.

Guilt sets in and I recluse to a lonely place wondering how things would be different if I would have said this, or done that.

Thankfully, I am learning to let go of guilt. Here are a few things to do if you find yourself replaying the slide show of what you should have done differently:

1. Give yourself grace.

God freely offers it and yet we have such a hard time giving it to ourselves.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9(ESV)

2. Let yourself rest.

God set the example in Genesis, yet our culture is so rushed and busy.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28(ESV)

3. Stop over-analyzing everything.

I often leave a conversation, and hours later come up with the perfect thing I should have said. I feel like I missed my opportunity. Rather than beat myself up and let guilt invade, I am learning to ask for wisdom in the moment. God promises to give it. It is not my job to come up with words on a whim.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5(NASB)

4. If you need forgiveness, ask for it.

It is not always easy to go to my child that I was harsh with and say I’m sorry, but the result is priceless. Telling my husband I was wrong is a major hit to my pride, but when I do, our relationship grows stronger. There is a time to seek forgiveness in order to be released from guilt. Be willing to admit when it truly is your fault.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9(ESV)

If you feel like you could have done better or should have said it differently, it is time to let it go. There is a place and time to “fix” problems, but many times the problem is simply guilt. Allow yourself to be free – free to accept grace, free to rest, free to hear from God’s source of wisdom and free to be forgiven.

If you will join me in letting guilt go and resting in God’s grace this week please LIKE, SHARE, and COMMENT so others can join us in guilt-free living.

Love & Blessings,

Micah

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  1. My goodness, this was perfectly timed by God for me to read tonight. Thank you Micah!

    1. You are so welcome! I love it when God lines things up just for us! He is amazing and He loves you!

  2. This was a great post. I am constantly over analyzing, I’m always mad at mysel because I could have done something better or just done something at all! Sometimes I just feel totally overwhelmed, so I do nothing! I’ve been reading your posts, and just wanted to let you know how much they mean to me. The Bible quotes are so comforting as well. I needed to read about asking for wisdom, that certainly helped me today. So thank you so much?

    1. Sweet Sally, thank you so much for sharing that with me! I’m right there with you, learning every day! Let’s choose His wisdom and grace today.

  3. #3 is so so hard for me. I really need to remember this: “It is not my job to come up with words on a whim.” Thank you for the wise words this morning, Micah!

    1. That one is hard for me too! Seeking His wisdoms this morning! Love & blessings, Christa!

  5. Thank you Micah! I needed to hear this today!

  6. Um… the over-analyzing one got me. Great to remember that one. Blessings today!

  7. “I often leave a conversation, and hours later come up with the perfect thing I should have said.” I do that too Micah, all too often! Great post.

    1. It’s good to know I’m not alone, Julie! Thanks so much!

    1. Suzie, you are too kind! Thank you for reading!

  9. Oh my goodness! It’s like you’ve heard my thoughts! What a great post and just the message I needed to be reminded of! Giving myself grace is the biggest challenge for me. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! #livefreeThursday

    1. Awe Cindy! I’m so glad this was an encouragement to you!

  10. Micah,
    I love the one that tells us not to over analyze. I am a thinker and that’s what I tend to do. But it’s getting better as I understand the grace of God. I am not perfect. He is. I am following you from Still Saturday.
    Blessings,
    Janis

    1. Janis, me too! Thanks for dropping in!

  11. Yes to grace, forgiveness and rest. Moms are always hardest on themselves. I get that. Thank you for sharing these words at Weekend Whispers.

    1. Mary, thank for reading this weekend!

  12. Lori Schumaker of Seaching for Moments says:

    Hi Micah,
    A dear friend and I just had a discussion about this tonight!! I’m sending her this so we BOTH can hear it as an affirmation from God to let go of the guilt, love ourselves, and say no to the guilt!Thank you!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

    1. Thankful for God’s timing, Lori!

  13. Micah, I always enjoy your posts! Visiting from Dance with Jesus #57

  14. Thank you, thank you! I really appreciated your reflections here. It is so easy to over-analyze every detail, word, look of a situation…our shoulders werent meant to carry the past and mess.. Thanks for reminding me to give it over (over and over again if necessary!)
    ;)
    Warmest from Holland, visiting from the #DanceWithJesus linkup (nr. 59)

    1. So glad to have you, Jasmine! Thanks for reading!

  15. latisha2015 says:

    I truly understand the words of this post, and get what they mean. I have struggled and still struggle with guilt, but God really does teach me that His Grace is enough. I’m a working progress. Thanks so much for sharing this encouraging post with TGI Saturdays. Blessings to you and hope you can come by for a visit this weekend.

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